Road Trip, Part I

This took place back in the mid 1980s. My best friend and fellow skirt chaser, Jay, and I drove to Tampa. We left Va Beach to go visit his son for Christmas. The son was about 6 then, and his mother was a stripper.

We had every intention of being in Tampa, at the whore and her kid's house for Christmas morning. We didn't make it until the day after Christmas. Don't remember why we were so late leaving Va Beach, but I remember it was about 3pm on Christmas Day when we pulled off I-95 into Fayetville, NC. Not even half way, and we got a motel room there.

Oh, yeah, funny thing happened on I-95 in NC. Jay had to piss, and I wouldn't stop. I was driving a Ford van that had a sliding door on the side. I told him to climb in the back, crack the door open, and piss at 70 MPH. I'll never forget looking in my mirror and seeing a car loaded with a family on holiday, have to turn on their windshield wipers on a sunny day.

Anyway, back to Fayet Nam. We rode around for a while looking for somewhere to eat supper. Everything was closed for Christmas. We finally found a Chinese or Japanese place where they cooked the shit right at your table. We were their only customers, and they put on a hell of a show for us. The chef is still the best table chef I've ever seen. The people that ran the restaurant were great. They gave us some ivory chopsticks as Christmas presents.

After eating, and back then it was probably the first time in a couple of days, we went to see if there was any night life in Fayetville. There were a couple of places open. One joint had topless bartenders, and all they could sell was draft beer. Another place was a rock band club. That's where all the off duty strippers hang out. Probably still do. I remember hooking up with some rock slut with a weird stripper name. Some Indian shit, or something. Being in Fayetville, all the dudes in there were Army guys. So two long haired guys from out of town could hook up with no problem.

The next morning---I think---we headed on to Tampa.

to be continued............

Men vs Women

This should become and ongoing series in the differences between the sexes, and life lessons learned by me about women.

This has happened to every guy you know, including yourself. We have all been used by a woman because we foolishly held out hope that she was going to give it up sooner or later. Let me guess. You're still waiting to hit that, aren't you? When they meet a guy, women decide in the first three minutes if they're going to sleep with him. Guys aren't that discriminating. Just because we wouldn't sleep with her sober, doesn't mean we won't tap it on a drunken early morning.

A recent survey said that a girl will use eight guys for every one guy that she sleeps with. Those eight chumps are all guys she would never bang. So with an 8 to 1 ratio, that means most girls these days have used over 100 men. While all the men got was a whiff of perfume.

It didn't say what constituted 'using' a man. I'll take a few guesses and you can check the list for the ones you've happily done without getting any stank from that skank.

1. Doing homework for her. Hey they start early
2. Giving her rides, or worse, letting her borrow your car.
3. Taking her out to eat.
4. Buying drinks for her. On more than one occasion.
5. Babysat for her. Even worse if she's on a date while you do this.
6. Gave her drugs for free.
7. Helped her move. Don't tell me she moved in with you, and still wouldn't give it up.
8. Loaned her money. Let me guess, she hasn't paid you back yet.
9. Met her parents. If you met them before sleeping with her, guess what? Not gonna happen.

Women will talk shit about strippers, yet they will do everything on this list and think that they're doing nothing wrong. This is a lot worse. At least with a stripper, you know up front what your chances of scoring are. Slim and none.

For any women reading, don't give me that, 'we thought you wanted to just be friends shit.' Let me make it very clear right now....men don't want women just to be friends! The only reason we put up with your crazy ass shit is we love sex! But, you already knew that didn't you? You know that's why you can get away with using us. Well, I'm spreading the word about this using of men. Men let's stand united on this. Stop doing shit for her with no chance of a payoff. These men using bitches need to hear the word no.